Holiday-Only Arrhythmias

During the festive season, its easy to indulge in excess; too many sprouts, an increase in afternoon napping, festive drinks… You know the score. It isn’t all smiles and sunshine, though, as we shall see.

One particular result of all the festive excess relevant to cardiac professionals, has been reported across the globe, but particularly in Entirely Fictitious Primary Care Centres (EFPCCs); Bacardi Branch Blocks, or BacBBs

BacBBs are thought to affect the heart as a whole, but it can be seen that they have a particularly odd effect on the ventricles, and cause an odd, never-seen-in-real-life depolarisation wave on the ECG, that actually defies physics and medical science by going back in time!

Symptom sheets compared with the compiled ambulatory data have shown unanimously that BacBBs are present sporadically within sinus rhythms, but coincide with that one-drink-too-many during a family game of Monopoly (Mr Moneybags isn’t thought to be an underlying cause, so the activity isn’t seen as a risk factor).

Atrial activity stops altogether, presumably because the SA node just forgets what it’s doing, as it’s seen enough crepe paper hats and screwdriver sets fly from crackers to last it a lifetime.

After an episode of BacBB, sinus rhythm resumes, and the patient will return to whatever their festive-norm may be until the next instance.

This phenomenon seems to disappear entirely during the first couple of weeks of January, when normal working hours begin again, hence, I feel that it is triggered by the holidays themselves.

None of this is being researched, or is even disputed, because it is both totally false, and invented entirely by me.

Screenshot (130)

Bacardi Branch Block

  • Common holiday rhythm abnormality only found during the festive season, and even then, only in fictitious settings
  • HR between 80-120bpm
    • Depends entirely on board game leader-board position
  • No P waves
  • Abnormal ventricular action
    • Resembles upturned cocktail glass
  • Is thought to only contribute to familial tolerance levels during prolonged exposure to each other

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM EVERYONE AT THE STUDENT PHYSIOLOGIST!!

Screenshot (124)

 

 

 

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Published by

Christopher

I'm a qualified clinical physiologist with a keen interest in free open access meducation (FOAMed), pacing and electrophysiology.

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